We have the technology

The UPS Saga:

July 11th: It was a dark and stormy night. I got a notice from UPS of a failure to deliver my package. This was odd, seeing as I was at home at the time the notice came through. A call to the store confirmed that my address did not, in fact, exist, but that I could pick up my sound card from the UPS service center. Easy enough, though it was 45 minutes away. Dropping by, I waited in line for about half an hour while the lady behind the counter tried in vain to find my package, continually asking me what it was, how big, etc. Eventually it was located and I went home a happy camper, xmystique in hand.

The Saga part II: UPS Strikes back

July 19th: A bare day after ordering from NewEgg (and after double checking that my address was correct), I got the notice that my first package was out for delivery. I got home from work to find that the truck had come and gone already. Figureing that it would happen again, I called the center and asked if I could pick the package up again on my way home from work the next day (that way I wasn't driving so far out of my way). They said sure and put the package on hold. Note: I was not allowed to call the local center, though I asked, I needed to call a 1-800 UPS number to do this. Didn't think much of it at the time....

July 20th: I get to the UPS center the next day and ask for my package, but I'm told that it has been put on the truck to be delivered. Of course I'm confused because I asked for it to be held, but I'm told that they have no hold order listed for it. I drive home, not too sure what's going on, to find that the truck has come and gone and left a notice on my door agian. I call the 1-800 number and explain the situation. Like talking to a wall. The only thing the girl on the other end can ask me is "yes sir, can I please have the tracking number?" Literally asked about 4 times in a row without even a variation on the sentance structure. Whatever. I tell her and she puts it on hold again. I get off the phone, think about it a bit, and call the number back. I get someone slightly more alive this time, so I tell them about my package, and that I have a second one coming in the next day (my second package from newegg). I ask if I can put them both on hold, and I'm told that, of course, it won't be a problem. I have the computer entry double confirmed, much to the annoyance of the lady on the phone, then go to bed secure in the knowledge that my computer componants are safe.

July 21th: Arriving at the service center the next day, I asked for my packages and, after a long wait, I was told that they weren't there. It, and my second package which had just arrived, were both on a truck bound for my home. They managed to track the driver (or so they say...) and confirmed that I might be able to beat him back. So into my car I hopped and made the trip back (45 minutes with traffic). About an hour later the guy shows up at my door with... a package. I sign for it but ask, confused, where my second item is. He replies that, oh yeah, he had one for me yesterday, but they pulled it off the truck today, orders from the computer. I thank him and get back on the phone with the 1-800 number. They confirm that, the package has indeed been put on hold and I can go pick it up any time. In addition, they promise that I'll get a confirmation call from the local center. Finally someone who know's what's going on. A half-hour later, lo and behold, a call comes in from the center. My package is sitting right there and I can come pick it up any time before 9.

Into my car I go, and I run into DEAD STOP TRAFFIC. Sputtering and cursing I sit in a total jam for about 40 minutes, ends up taking me a good hour to get to the store. I finally show up and there are about 12 people milling around waiting for stuff while one guy staffing the place runs all over trying to find their stuff. I tell him my name and address, and that the package should be waiting for me. Off he runs into the back and.... is gone. I see him once or twice more while I'm there for periods of about 20 seconds while he asks one person or another how big their items might be. People start leaving empty handed. 45 minutes later a lady comes out to cover the desk for him as 'Break time, ladies and gentlemen' plays over the speakers. After about 15 minutes of conversation, during which I tell my story, she searches around the desk and finds my wayward computer parts sitting right there on the main counter, waiting for me as I predicted.

Ok, whatever, all's well that ends well.... but this story isn't over.

The Saga part III: The return of UPS

July 31st: I had one more package coming in, my harddrive. I figured that by now I had this routine down pat. I knew who to call and what to tell them. My frequent visits had finally netted me the unlisted number for the front desk of the service center and they assured me that I could call them directly to have my package held. So, of course, that's what I did. Monday rolled around and the truck came and went while I was still at work. Tracking the package intently online I saw the failure of delivery and I hopped on that phone, dialing the center. Unfortunately the person manning the front desk had aparantly not gotten the memo about holding packages, and told me that it was impossible to do without calling my good friends at the 1-800 number. So call them I did, and got TRIPLE confirmation this time, MUCH to the dismay of the lady on the phone, that even under threat of hurricane, tornado, earthquake, or alien invasion, that package was glued to that front desk. Unfortuantely, I'm told that I need to pick it up between 7 and 9, which means I need to make the full 45 minute trip, no jaunt over on my way home. Whatever.

Wanting to avoid the mother of all traffic jams, I wait untill a little after 8, and make an uneventful drive to arrive at about 10 to 9. Walking up to the door I find that it's locked. I check my clock... definately before 9. I start knocking, determined that there is no way I'm doing this again. A young girl shows up and shrugs at me. I shout through the door that they're open till 9. She replies that it's after 9. I double check my cell phone and decided to agree though MY clock didn't have after 9. I ask her to PLEASE help me and she agrees. She disappears for about 10 minutes after getting my info through the door. A side door to the center opens and out she comes.

"I'm gonna have to break your heart"

And she did. My package was on a truck, all set for morning delivery, no way in. She gave me the number for the front desk, the 3rd time I'd gotten it at that point, and assured me that someone at that number would help me in the morning.

August 1st: I called the front desk in the morning, and this time managed to get somone who knew that I could hold the package through them. Unfortunately I got them just as they arrived which did not make for the most happy of people. I actually made them put the phone down, go to the desk, and physically look for the package. Apparently they can't put phones on hold there because I heard the cursing as the search was conducted. She came back and assured me that she was looking right at it and that it wasn't going anywhere. I gave a brief summary of my story and she lightened a bit, and once again told me that she'd make sure it stayed put.

And so I went off to work, taking my first few minutes to type out this document for historical purposes. This story is one for the ages, and must be preserved. The ending, however, is not yet known...

To Be Continued...